It Starts with a Letter

One-

My Dearest Lily,

We did not, perhaps, part on the best of terms, but I foolishly decided
to send this letter anyway. This letter is an attempt at fully
explaining all of the thoughts and conflicting feelings I have about
you. I would hope that you would read the letter slowly and try to
understand my longing for you and the depth of my passion.

Many nights I lay awake dreaming of you, wondering what it would be
like to be loved by you. I have often thought about what it would feel
like to have your soft lips pressed to mine, or to hold you in my arms.
Every boy that I have seen with you did not deserve your love and I
wonder if anyone is deserving of your love. I certainly am not for what
I have put you through, but I will not stop trying to win your heart.
You, Lily, bring both joy and pain to my life. I love to be around you,
to see you smile, to know you are happy. The pain comes from thinking
no matter what I do I will never have you. But my pain does not matter
so long as you are happy. I would rather see you happy with someone
else than unhappy with me. You are both the light of my life and the
bane of my existence.

Throughout the years you have doubted my love and I have given you
plenty of reasons to. I am sincerely sorry for any embarrassment and/or
pain I have caused you over the years. That was never my intention. I
have, to my dismay, pushed you farther and farther away from me. Often
in your presence I have made a git of myself. I want you to know that I
can’t control it. You are too intoxicating. In your presence I can
hardly talk, let alone think. Lately I have been working on controlling
this. Of course you’re thinking of my arrogant exterior now. The
arrogance I display on the outside is an exact opposite of the inside.
I have always been nervous when asking you out. I hide behind a shell
of cocky indifference so that you will not know how vulnerable I really
am. Each rejection has hurt far more than I let on. I want you to know
I am trying to mature, to be a better person. If it does not win your
heart, so be it, I will be happy if you are happy.

Forever Yours,
James

P.S.  My love for you will never fade, for nothing could extinguish love this strong.

~~ for more marauder fictions, click here.